Sometimes I have somewhat irrational worries that Elsie doesn't have as close of an attachment to us since she was hospitalized for the first five months of her life. She's not super snuggly and when it comes to going to sleep, she'd much rather be placed in her own bed with a blanky instead of being rocked or cuddled to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love that she goes to sleep so incredibly easily, but sometimes my irrational fears start rearing their ugly head and whisper mean things to me like, "She doesn't love you like other babies love their mommies" or "She's developing a sensory processing disorder or autism or some other scary disorder and she'll come to hate being touched, like when she was in the NICU." For the most part, these fears are just that, irrational fears, but sometimes fears creep into your mind and won't leave. Until you have moments of affirmation that your child does, in fact, love you. Moments where you are the only one that she turns to for comfort or reassurance, when she looks around the room until she finds you and then smiles, when she crawls over to you and tries to climb into your lap, when she turns constantly to touch you or to make sure you are still there while she is playing. She is my child and she loves me.
PS, she's crawling forward now :) No more backwards crawling!
Evje, on the other hand, is super snuggly. She loves hugs and kisses, loves to be held, loves to sit on our laps. She's my snuggle-bug. And despite my frequent impatience with her two year old behaviors, she still loves me with an unconditional love. She looks to me for comfort when she is hurt, sick, or afraid. She loves to help me make cookies or dinner, and we have so much fun together. She was my firstborn, the one who made me a mommy after a long wait. She is my child, and she loves me.
He is my rock, my partner in crime. He helps me with the children and dances with them around the kitchen. He sings ridiculously funny made-up lyrics to songs that he can't remember the real words. He leaves me notes and sends me sweet text messages. He wakes up early with the toddler on weekends and lets me sleep in with the baby. He surprises me with thoughtful gifts, and comforts me when I need comforting. He is incredibly good-looking in all of his cowboy gear on the back of a horse. He is my husband, and he loves me.
As the song goes, these are a few of my favorite things. I love them.